[trying to find the light switch in here..]

I’m scratching myself raw.
viciously and meticulously trying to find me under my skin.
I’m in here somewhere….

I feel as tho this pilar of human flesh I have to cascade around in are hundreds of separate parts.
My mind panics..
My brain sends wrong messages..
My mouth explodes with words..
My bones crinkle under the sound of my unstitched tongue..
My muscles all pull in a different direction..
One knee buckles while the other stands strong..
My heart… my heart beats its off tempo song.
While I, out here, trying to make sense of it all, am left to orchestrate. 


have you ever been to a symphony?
You know that anxiety inducing few seconds right after the maestro raises his wand?



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