Archive for May, 2011

May 31, 2011

( tadpole thoughts )

>

stuck in the inbetween.
trapped by some here and there [perfect] memories.
a tug of war of quirky giggles and straight faces.
Like sucking on a lemon.
You dont know why you do it, but you just cant seem to stop.
Its kind of perfect that way.
I like these ideas.
I like these daydreams.
I wonder [sometimes] if I would get in trouble if I voiced them.
You know, being the “radical dreamer.”
Radical Dreamers are the ones that took us everywhere.
My questions is…
Why do brains look so boring when you take them out of a skull?
when they are so colorful, imaginitive, crazy…. radical on the inside.
Where did God put His paintbrush….
I kinda like being stuck in the inbetween.
I kinda like the fear of not knowing what exactly lurks beneath the waters Im dipping my toe in.
Maybe it isnt something lurking.
Maybe its something waiting with open arms.
Maybe its something thats been waiting for me all along.
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May 2, 2011

"Happy? um. yea?"

>my tears can’t help themselves and the lump in my throat grows to an abnormal size.
I do feel like justice has finally come. I feel like we can finally put 3,000 souls to rest. I do feel like the seas of calmed, but unlike others… I feel the electric stinging breath of what might come. As if I were standing underneath a thundercloud and feeling the hairs on my arm stand on end. To say as a military wife that I’m thrilled is a lie. I’m terrified. Some absent-mindedly proclaim, “Let the aftershocks of his death begin!” ….I’m bundling up my child and convincing Gregory that fleeing to Canada isnt a bad idea.

This war is far from over. Infact, I think we may have just started a new one.